TIME WARP!
I found this in my drafts folder from 2009. I don't want to lose it -- so, better late than never, here it is.
Several New Beginnings, actually...
This week was a very stressful one, due to some very unexpected news. I was given the privilege of participating in a 'reduction in staff' at my former company of 20+ years.
The first day was surreal. My mind raced, and I was continually thinking of things that had to change. Cancel the business cable internet. Send back equipment borrowed over the years. Pepare the online banking for the day that no direct deposit comes. Price plane tickets to Ireland...
No, I know, that last one was totally inappropriate, but I'll admit I did it. Thinking this is the only time I'm going to have enough time off to go and enjoy it. Seriously, I was messed up that day.
The next day was the day of numbness. I'd stand in a room and wonder what I came there for. "Ok, look, a copy of FrameMaker. They'll want that back..." I spent that day dismantling computers and pulling their hardware, gathering the equipment that doesn't belong to me, and wondering whether they'd really want it back. And if they don't, what will I do with it?
The next day I searched high and low for my resume. I know it was on a computer. But then I thought. That was 16 years ago that I made that resume up. That was several computer chassis ago, and I don't think the resume made it all the way. So I need to start from scratch.
In many ways, this change is a starting over from scratch. I realize how little of my Computer Science I remember. My Calculus book stares me down and taunts me. I know I still have it -- I am surprised -- pleasantly surprised -- when I find I can still help my daughter on her homework. That's a good feeling. ;-)
I don't remember how to interview. How to write a resume. How to go about finding jobs to apply for. All of this will be new again for me.
But that's not the only new beginning, I'm happy to say. I went walking today. This is something I should have been doing for years now. I went walking, and it felt good. I can't say it feels good now, but it felt good then. This is the beginning of what I will make a daily regimen. Ack -- that's such a harsh word. A daily routine. A daily stretching, walking, and eventually running routine.
For one thing, I seem to have the time now. There's no more 'I had no time -- I had to get to work' excuse. Gone, dead, nada, zip. My health requires this change of habit. I've been -- uncomfortable at times during the day, and I worry about it being the beginnings of heart disease. I don't really think it is, but I don't know what that feels like. The not knowing is the worst. Just the worst.
So there you have it. When forced, this old dog can choose to do new tricks.
What will happen next?
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